Truth Is...

You might all know me as Chrissy, or more commonly HellNoThisBitch, but there is more to me than you think.
See, the truth about me is formspring friends is all I have. You guys are my everything.
Yeah, I have family, but they don't even like me. They won't accept me. I don't spend much of my free time with them by choice. It's like, my dad forcing me to spend family time, and me awkwardly sitting there doing whatever they decided to do against my will. I love my dad &* we're close, well he tells me alot of stuff, but my entire life is a lie to him. He thinks I'm this smart, innocent, straight girl...his little girl. I am his little girl, I'm just not the little girl he wants me to be. My family means alot to me, but they are as fake as the toys made in China. :|

At school, I have one friend. ONE. Everyone else, they're mere class mates, or old friends. I used to be a social butterfly. Friends with everyone. I was a semi happy girl, the girl everyone loved, the girl who put a smile on everyone's face...The girl that I was happy to be. Now, I have ONE friend. ONE person I actually call a friend. And she has a bunch of friends. So, when I am not with her, I'm alone. I look for somewhere to sit at lunch, but there's nowhere, so I wander the halls all on my own. I am late to school alot, because I don't wanna risk being early and being alone awkwardly. I leave home right when the bell rings because I have no friends to stick around with. Only one, but she usually walks me home.


In every one of my classes, I talk to a few people, but none of those people are my friends. They all talk behind my back. Let's just face it, I cannot trust people. I have one friend, yeah she's great, but I miss the feeling of having more people. The feeling of having options. When she can't hang out, I have no one to hang out with.

So, I spend my nights in my room...on my phone, or on my ipod, or on my computer.
I sit up late at night, all hours of the night, early in the morning, all hours of the day, talking to the people who matter most to me: the people who I met in formspring.

You guys are really all I have. You guys are true friends. You guys are people I trust, people I want in my life.

Yeah, there's alot you guys do not know about me, but I still trust you guys. That's why I send you guys dumb shit you guys probably don't even care about, because I trust you. Because you guys are my real friends. Because you guys matter to me.

When Steven killed  himself, I thought I'd never love again, I thought I'd never be in love again, but Shannon changed that. I fell in love with her, and even though it didn't work out, she will always have a big spot in my heart. Sure, our friendship will never be the same, but us being together really changed my life.

When he killed himself, I thought I'd never have a best friend again, then I met Theo. Instant friends. It's been almost a year since we met.

May 18 was the day.

He became my best friend, and to this day he still is. We may not talk as much as we used to, but we still are best friends, we still mean alot to each other, we still care! I love you Theo! < 3

But they aren't the only people who matter...

There's alot..Alyssa, Shameka, Rob, Caroleena, Breanna, Allie, Abbey, Elmo (Gladys), Emily, Leiisha, Cameron, and so many more...
Yeah, I may not talk to you guys about personal things, but just knowing that I could come to you at any point, that means alot.

You guys, on formspring, twitter, gifboom, are amazing. You guys are true friends. TRUE friends.



Thanks for everything. < 3

xo
Chrissy